Let’s be real, it’s hard to build confidence in yourself when you haven’t seen results or even acknowledged them. Confidence is not only believing in your talents/skills but it’s also believing that you can do anything you desire to despite the hardships you may face. My first year in Grad School, I got a 4.0. I hadn’t received a 4.0 prior to this so I was wildly shocked at how my determination could lead me there. And yet, I was still afraid to raise my hand in class, I was still worried about getting an answer wrong and I was still afraid that I wouldn’t be able to handle counseling a client because of my own shortcomings. I finally realized that my “shortcomings” did not define my future and my past experiences make me human.
Since implementing these 3 steps below, I was able to launch this blog, my 60 min healing sessions (closest thing to therapy you can get) and my text subscription list that sends out daily empowering messages! I have accepted that I have a gift that needs to be used in this world and I’m confident in doing so. Are you ready to do the same? Here are 3 ways how to start building confidence in yourself:
1. Celebrate & Acknowledge Yourself 24/7
I often hear the same theme in every conversation I have with others or myself: obsession with perfectionism. For some of us, it’s not even that we’re not confident; it’s that we don’t acknowledge ourselves enough to realize that we already are. When we’re constantly in a mode of trying to become better (aka perfect), we never appreciate where we are, who we’ve become and what we’ve done.We often discount what we’ve done because it wasn’t as good as we hoped or we feel like we could’ve done better.
If you don’t celebrate what you’ve done, you won’t feel confident because there is no “evidence” that gives you a reason to. The first step is to start celebrating every win and let that be your evidence. The moment you accept where you are as good enough, the moment the game changes for you.
We can sit and pick apart why something wasn’t good enough but we need to shift the focus from perfectionism to impact. If you have trouble keeping your impact in mind, make an album on your phone of all of the kind things people have said to you and go back to it when you start questioning your abilities. You will quickly be reminded that you have every reason to be confident.
2. Commit to Mental & Physical Self Care
Listen, ain’t nothing better than genuinely feeling good. You will naturally become more confident in yourself when you know that you’re putting in the work. We often doubt the power of completing small tasks but that’s exactly where the confidence lies. The confidence doesn’t magically pop up when we get our dream apartment, body, car or job like we think it does. It starts in the small intentional tasks that help us become our best selves. It’s natural for us to feel better about ourselves when we commit to showing up.
I feel extremely good about myself when I stretch, floss, do my skincare routine, journal, meditate, workout and some more stuff. I have created a morning routine that allows me to pour into myself so even when I miss or get unmotivated, I know that I have the skills to get back on the wagon because I’ve already committed once and I can do it again. Let your past habits of self care remind you of your capability to commit again.
3. Be Intentional About the Language You Use
Words mean things. Sometimes we are the main ones contributing to our own demise. Start using language that empowers you versus language that reaffirms insecurities. Words like “just, only, little & if” are not empowering – stop using them. You didn’t have a “little” promotion, you had a well deserved promotion. You didn’t “only” accomplish 5 tasks on your to do list, you accomplished 5 tasks on your to do list. You aren’t “just” a college graduate, you are a college graduate that is going to do amazing things in the world. It’s not “if” you do something, it’s when you do something.
You feel me?
I encourage you to practice being kinder to yourself by intentionally learning or changing the words you use. It’s important that you hold grace for yourself if you don’t get it right on the first try. If you catch yourself saying disempowering language (we all do, because we’re human), correct it then move on. No need to punish yourself over it!
Now it’s time to become even more confident in yourself. Enjoy the journey of becoming your wildest dreams!
Until next time,